sometimes i quote....

I count the number of steps when I first go up a staircase. Helps me ensure the next time, that the last step is always the right step.

- Abhas.

ekaant..

वोही मैं और वोही शुन्य,

मन फ़िर भी आक्रांत सा क्यूं है,

देती गुजरती हर घड़ी मातृत्व के कई वादे,

फिर भी बाल-मन अशांत सा क्यूं है,

धुरी पर घूमती इस धरती पर,

जीवन पथ में यह दिशांत सा क्यूं है,

साक्षी असीम सुख के यह अगणित तारे,

कलरव यह चिडियों का असम्भ्रांत सा क्यूं है,

देखेंगे जीवन डगर पर कई मेले और भी,

जाने आज एक एकांत सा क्यूं है!

- आभास

तुम...

शायद तुम कांटा कोई,
शायद तुम हो कोई कंकड,
शायद तुम तमाचा कोई,
रखा वक्त ने जिसको जडकर,
शायद तुम शोर दुनिया का,
बेहरा करता कानों को,
शायद कम्पन धरती का तुम,
उजाड्ता जीवन स्थानो को.

हाँ यही सब हो तुम.

जाना प्रेम चुभन को तुमसे,
कंकड तुम वो गिरकर,
दिया जीवन जिसने झील स्थिर को,
तमाचा तुम वक्त का,
एहसास कर्तव्य का दिलाता है,
शोर हो तुम उस दुनिया का,
जहाँ गूंज उल्लास बस आता है.

बन जाओ अब शिव तुम मेरे,
अमृत मन्थन कर दो जीवन विष से,
की फिर नवीन का शोर हो,
तपती हो जहाँ धरा,
बन जाओ मेरे ब्रह्मा,
रचा दो एक स्वर्ग नया.

और मांगू फिर तुमसे,
बस एक आखिरी कम्पन,
की उजाड दो इन मकानो को,
देख कर तुम्हें फिर मैं,
शायद फिर,
जीवन का आभास पा सकूं!

~ आभास

driving in delhi with her... in my thoughts :-)

आज फिर वोही दिन है..


वो घूमने निकलना एक सर्दी की दोपहर,
रुक जाना घूमते हुए किन्ही चौराहों पर,
मन्दिर को देख तुमको मांग लेना चुपके से,
और तुम्हें देख बस मुस्करा देना..


खामोश रहना और तुमसे कहना की कुछ कहो,
और तुम्हारा कहना की आज सुनने का मन है,
बस उस गर्म सी हवा की होती थी सरसराहट,
तोड़ती हमारी चुप्पियो को..


दिखती आज फिर वो सड़क जिस पर चले है हम,
और वो तुम्हारा कहना की काश ये दिन ना बीते,
वो शाम का वक्त और रुक जाना किसी जगह,
जा कर तुम्हारे लिए एक चाय की प्याली लाना..


जाने क्यूँ आज फिर वो दिन याद आ गया,
शायद दिल फिर से तुम्हें छूना चाहता होगा,
कह रहा होगा मन से जीने को वो पल,
शायद आज फिर तुम्हारे साथ घूमना चाहता होगा..


कुछ भी तो बातें नही हुई,
पर जीं ली थी जिन्दगी,
और देखो आज फिर खड़े उन दोराहो पर,
मैं और तुम फिर बनके अजनबी..


- आभास

life takes you places

Had given up updating my blogs recently, and then suddenly a friend came to me, all elated..

"We have got the Permanent Resident Status in Australia. Life would be so good now." And that made me think.

Life really takes you places.

I remember once going to meet Sonu in Laxmangarh, and there I met this friend of mine. Struggling was not easy in the scorching heat of the sun in that remote village, which is now growing to a small town, all due to this girls college so aptly placed there. Aptly for me, for I got some of the most memorable days and friends in this place. So there was my friend, a few years back, all sweating but smiling at the prevailing happiness in the atmosphere then. And now here is my friend, chatting with me sitting in an AC room from Australia, smiling with hints of relief and happiness.

We were teens then when we laughed together, and now all of us have different paths. Paths so different that I doubt seeing them all together again. But wherever I am, and wherever You are, I wish you happiness. May the Force be with you for Life really takes you places.

the unseen.......

हर रात तेरा चेहरा एक ख्वाब सा दिखता है,
हर धड्कन तेरे कदमों की आहट गिनती है,
सवाल तो नही तु कि लाजवाब हो सके,
खुबसूरती तेरी फिर भी एक पहेली सी जलती है,
हो रात तु, या हो दिन का कोई पल, हो सुबह,
या हो शाम जो रफ़्ता-रफ़्ता ढलती है,
हो कुछ भी तु, इस काफ़िर का तो इतना कहना है,
तेरे आने से दिल में खुदा की लौ जलती है...

meeting you again..

देखता हूं देखनें को मैं दुनिया के रन्ग सारे,
पर बनाने वाला हर मसीहा नादान लगता हैं,
ठीक चलती हैं सांसें फिर भी,
जाने मन क्यों बेजान लगता हैं,
एक ही कतार में चलते दिखते सब फिर भी,
दिशाहीन जाने क्यों हर इन्सान लगता हैं,
सजा लिये हैं नये काफ़िले तुमने भी मैंने भी लेकिन,
तुमसे मिलकर आज फिर हर जहाँ सुनसान लगता हैं..

For my return to home

It is always in the nostalgic lane, the train to my home before Diwali.
Every corner of this hustling city, I see people bursting crackers. Most of them are the street goers, the elite are usually on their way to their home. But for each of these people, a feeling is shared. And that is this expression of joy on their face. I always used to wonder standing aloof; believe me I still do; as what makes all these people happy. A festival of lights, no not that! The triumph of truth over evil! No not that too!
And with this confusion, I begin my trip back home.
The engine has already whistled, before I could put a brake to my thoughts. And they start flowing again. This time with the speed of the train! Every street of the passing city is so illuminated with the joy of the numerous lights hanging there. It is very funny what they call these lights; the series of electric bulbs; it is called a "ladi" back at my place.

It is very beautiful in the night, I must say!
The train passes through the beauties of all nature. Some factories, some fields, some not so big rivers. But all these seem to be very smoothly illuminated by an absent moon. Not that I never see them on other days! But just on the Diwali trip, it seems as if the "diyas" have flown far off some place from heaven. Far enough to give them such a soothing light. It is not a distant journey. A matter of five and half hours, and I intersect the course of the Chambal.

It is the break of some odd 0400 hours that I see the Chambal. And funnily enough, I get the feeling. Yes! This is where I belong, the city of my childhood. The city is all asleep when I make it through the roads to the most distant of all places. It rightly is the most distant of all places, my home! Because even before I reach there, I had already met my friends, my most special ones, the book store keeper, the pan shop-keeper. Every one of them, so much not there, but still become so much there for me.

It is a beautiful colony where we live.
I reach my place. My father has already left to play tennis by that time. It is one routine I never saw him breaking since my early childhood! And my mother hugs me with all the might of her love. It has been seven years since I left for Delhi. But I never found that hug going weaker in might. A hug so peaceful, and yet so homely!

I still am confused, as to why the people I saw last night were happy. As to why everything in nature seemed so happy. But I know the reason to my happiness; Diwali always gives me a trip back home!

Wish the same for you!

- Abhas.

shravya for the knowledgible...

कुछ ढूंढती तनहाई, चुप से ये होंठये कहते नही, पर सबकुछ बता देतें हैं।
इन सीप सी आंखों मे तैरते दो मोती,दिल के बेताब समंदर का पता देतें है।
यूं सूखी बातों मे, मकसद नही बसगहराई लगती है अनंत कोसों की।
मुसकान, ठंडे पत्ते पर, सलौनीसुबह बैठी, लगती हैं, ओसों सी।
चुलबुली तितली हो, हो जाओ मुक्त, रहो अदभुत, तरंगित, तुम भव्या।
स्वतंत्र भरो उडान, बंधनो से दूरदूर बहुत गगन मे, सुंदर, तुम श्रव्या।

my friends....

भले की उम्मीद हो, वही बुराई का एह्सास दिला लेतॆ हैं...
दोस्तो के रन्ग भी अजब हैं, सहुलियत से मजाक बना लेते हैं!!

~ आभास

standing on a sea beach....

उन दरख्तों से उस रेत तक, कुछ सायों की परछाइयां हैं...
मैं तन्हा सही इस मौज में लेकिन.... मेरे साथ मेरी रुसवाईयां हैं!!

~ आभास

Nithari...

"Nithari se ek aur uth gaya hai, jeep wahi le chalte hain...."

It was a good lovely night on the first floor of ST Microelectronics in Noida. With only me and Baba in the office; the way he worked intently; while I enjoyed good old Hemant Kumar melodies, the thoughts of the remaining whiskey, waiting to be freed from the bottle kept back at my place; it seemed to me that the phone was ringing at a distance.

At around 1.30 in the night. Not unusual for me, and I showed no haste in picking it up. But the voice that followed knew no patience!! "Come up fast yaar.. Me and my sister were returning from the PVR after the late night show, we were stopped near the Noida bridge, and there is this cop who wants my sister to sit in his jeep, and wants me to follow in our auto-richshaw!"

Shit! I knew what it meant to leave a girl alone at these hours of the night. PCR jeep or the van with tinted glasses, sound equal in those hours of the night in Noida. And with few incidences that were happening every now and then, were not supporting the cause of keeping a peaceful mind.

It seems to be Baba's favourite slang, for he uses it for all expressions of joy,anger, frustration, cheer, "Bhosdi-wale...", and we were off towards the bridge to help my friends. The sub-inspector literally perfuming the atmosphere with the fragrance of the local wine, was in no moods of human manners, and definitely was in no moods to let this catch go easily off. It took lots of convincing, mentioning some big names, sometimes even firing back at them, but Baba finally convinced the policemen to let my friend go away with his sister.

And it was when the auto set off, and the policemen done with his duty of law-enforcement, I heard his sub-ordinate speak from inside the jeep ""Nithari se ek aur uth gaya hai, jeep wahi le chalte hain.."